


Traffic With Thy Self Alone

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Will (TV 2017)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Community: trope_bingo, Euphemisms, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, One-Sided Attraction, Timeline What Timeline, community: mmom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Will has a bet with Richard on how many innuendos he can work into his next play. Kit is amused - and in one-sided love with the bard.





	Traffic With Thy Self Alone

"Having traffic with thy self alone," Kit mused. "That's rather good."

Will was known for his innuendo and euphemisms and Richard had made a bet with him on how many sexual references he could work into his next play. "Do you think so? I don't know if it counts as sex though."

"If someone's cock or cunt is being fondled then it is sex," Kit said. "Alone, with another man, with a woman other than for begatting a child with your wife, all are sinful acts are they not?"

"You're using how sinful something is to decide if it is sex?"

Kit shrugged. "Not all sinful acts are sex but almost every act of sex is a sin according to the Church."

Will scanned the page. "I think I'll keep that phrase for something else. I don't want to lose."

"What are the terms of the wager?"

"The loser buys the winner drinks for the rest of the month."

Kit scoffed. "This seems like something you could win in your sleep. Especially when you intend phrases like 'resolved to carry her' to mean sex."

"Well Richard was already pretty drunk when he suggested the wager," Will said. "I suppose a better competition would involve us both. You've a fine way with suggestive words yourself."

Kit preened a little. "I'm amenable to a challenge."

Of course the one thing he'd ask for he would not get if he won; traffic with Will. Tonight he would think of Will but it would be traffic with himself alone.

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope bingo prompt bets/wagers.
> 
> The phrase "traffic with thyself alone" occurs in sonnet 4. The phrase "resolved to carry her" appears in "All's Well That End's Well". Both were found as euphemisms, the first for masturbation, the second for sex, in Shakespeare's Sexual Language: a Glossary (Gordon Williams) .  
> I've ignored the timeline for Will's writing of these given Marlowe's untimely death prior to "All's Well That End's Well" amongst other of Will's works.
> 
> Thank you for reading! This was just a quick angst one-shot for the Merry Month of May challenge and a trope bingo fill. I hope any future Will fics will be a bit more indepth and with a happier ending.


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